Postpartum Expectation vs Reality
Prior to having Melody, I had a lot of expectations about how things would be postpartum. A lot of these ideas came from our childbirth/parenting classes, books, and movies. However, once I had Melody, reality was much different. Below are some of those expectations vs the reality that was.
Expectation: Coming home from the hospital will be full of happiness.
Reality: You'll be overwhelmed and terrified, and you'll probably cry...a lot!
I should have listened to my best friend who had a baby 12 days prior to Melody's arrival. She told me that you cannot prepare yourself for walking into your home with an extra person that you did not leave with. She told me about the tears that were shed. She told me about the tears shed the days after as well. I really thought that wouldn't be us. I thought I was 100% ready and prepared for Melody. But when you walk in your house with this tiny human that you are now entirely responsible for their well being and survival, you get overwhelmed. You no longer have the assistance of hospital staff. You can no longer call a number and have food delivered. You can't press a button to call a nurse to make sure the new noise your baby just made isn't a sign of something bad. You are all on your own.
You really can't prepare for that moment. I cried for days. I was overwhelmed and scared to death. Even though I have a super supportive and extremely involved husband, I was simply overwhelmed at all of this new responsibility. I was scared that I would do something wrong or something would happen to Melody, and I wouldn't know what to do. You're hormones are also all over the place which does not help all of these emotions. Prepare to cry a lot, and it is ok. I think the crying stopped after about two weeks. I would still cry at certain things, but it eventually became rare.
Expectation: You'll be able to go eat out or shop whenever you want as long as it works with baby's schedule.
Reality: The pediatrician told us to wait until she has her 2 months shots!
I had Melody on a Wednesday night. With all the complications, I didn't call the pediatrician to make an appointment until Tuesday morning (Monday was Memorial Day). Melody lost one pound between Wednesday night and Sunday afternoon. The pediatrician fit us in Tuesday afternoon. Out of curiosity, we asked how long we should wait until we take her in public. That is when she told us we should wait until after her two month shots. One doctor told us we could go out at non-peak times and cover her carrier with a blanket, but she still recommended waiting until after the one month mark. Apparently if a baby gets a fever before that are a month old, it is a really big deal.
So I really had to wait 8 weeks before I could get out with Melody? That sounded miserable. That was also a contributing factor to my crying above. After about three weeks, I had a complete breakdown. I needed to go to Target to pick up some pictures I ordered for Father's Day. I was waiting on Brad to come home from work so I could go. The problem was the photo department closed at 6, and I would be borderline getting there by the time Brad got home. So he went instead. I lost it. I wanted out of the house SO bad. So the next night, we just got out. We ate dinner in the car, and we just walked through Target with a blanket over her. It was the most rewarding night ever! From that point on, we got out, but we were just careful. We didn't let anyone touch her, and we tried to keep a blanket over her as much as possible.
Expectation: You'll sleep when the baby sleeps.
Reality: There really isn't enough time!
So everyone tells you to sleep when the baby sleeps. You are told that so much, you actually start telling yourself that is the plan. Well newborns feed 8-12 times a day. That is at LEAST every 3 hours...at least! So, feeding takes approximately an hour because you have to feed her, change her diaper, burp her, etc.. Some feedings I could do in 30 minutes, but those were rare. So now you are left with 2 hours. Well she doesn't always go right to sleep. And even if she does, sometimes there are things you need to do. Those things could be small, but every little thing seems big during those sleepless days...change the bag in the diaper genie, wash her clothes, restock the diapers, make the bottles, wash the bottles, wash the breast pump supplies, etc. So assume you have an hour or 90 minutes. By the time you fall asleep, you are waking right up. It just isn't reality you can sleep just because the baby is asleep. You sleep because your spouse takes the chores that hour or does the next feeding. That's how you sleep!
Expectation: Getting out of the house will take forever and will be hard.
Reality: It really isn't that bad if you plan ahead!
You get the impression from people that getting out is really hard. Especially when I would think about how some friends in the past didn't want to do things because of how hard it is for them to get out with kids. We found it really isn't all that hard. Even spur of the moment outings really aren't that bad. I always have my diaper bag in shape so that if I need to go out the door at any second I can. The only setback at times would be the bottles. However, every night, I make the bottles for the next 24 hours. So all I really have to do is throw the travel top on the bottle and get an ice pack. The key is having things ready. I also keep travel packs of formula on hand in case we need more bottles than what we have already made.
