A Year as a Mother — Pink Glitter Pumpkins

So I have officially been a mom for a little over a year now. I thought I would take some time to reflect back on this last year.

What did I do with all of my time before Melody?

I always felt like I didn't have enough time in the day before Melody's birth. I remember being so exhausted all of the time. We spent so much time binge watching shows, we would go to the gym each morning, and we would go to the movies once a week at least. But still, I thought I was tired. Then Melody was born. I expected exhaustion with a newborn. And surprisingly, it wasn't nearly as exhausting as I expected. Brad was a HUGE help. We were (and still are) a great team when it comes to Melody. I napped when she napped, and we just took care of one another. Then she became more and more active. Naps became smaller and there are now less of them. She is always on the go. And I am as tired as ever. With that said, I feel like with all that we do with her, we still manage to do a lot of the things prior to her birth. And that makes me wonder, what did we truly do with our time then? If I can take care of this super active baby, and I accomplish most of what we did in a normal day, what was I doing before?

Being a stay-at-home mom wasn't what I expected.

You see all of the stay at home moms on TV, and they really seem to have it together. They are fit, their kids are well behaved, they looked rested, they cook nice meals, and they have showered. I knew the first few months would be tough, but I thought I would eventually be like those moms. Well twelve months in...I had to buy a size up in pants because my stomach looks nothing like it used to and I am a far cry from fit. My child is well behaved (in my opinion), but we still have our bad days. She despises the word "NO" and will throw a tantrum if she hears it. I am far from rested. I try to nap when Melody naps, but sometimes housework calls. I also hoped to have dinner ready for Brad when got home from work, but that is a rarity. It is more likely these days due to Melody's ever-changing schedule, but it is still not as often as I would like. And I am lucky to be showered by lunch. Some days when Brad gets home, I am just getting the opportunity to shower. When I do shower, I typically go back into some sort of pajamas too. I can't imagine how working moms do it. Although, a lot of my working mom friends say the same thing about stay at home moms. Both are extremely hard to do. And staying at home isn't what I expected at all. Some days I really wonder if Melody is benefiting at all from me raising her. But I know that I will cherish the years forever, and one day I will sleep and shower timely again. One day the house will be spotless. But right now, I don't want one day to come. I love how things are right now even if it is messy!

Mom shaming is a real thing.

It is really appalling that so many moms feel the need to judge/criticize other moms. Every parent makes a decision for a reason that they see fit. Unless a child is truly in harm, it is unnecessary to voice an opinion about that parent and the way they decide to raise their child. If a mom wants to breastfeed, that is her choice. If a mom wants to formula feed, that is her choice. If a mom wants to pump exclusively and feed her baby with a bottle, that is her choice. The key is that the baby is fed. That is what is important. It is truly unnecessary for a mother to judge another mother based on how she feed her child. That is just one example of the numerous cases I have seen over the last year. That is also one of the most common issues you hear about. That was also one of the things forced on me during my hospital stay at a baby-friendly hospital. Mommy shaming is just really unfortunate. Being a mom is hard enough that we do not have to beat up on each other. Instead, we should support and lift each other up instead.

Time goes by way too fast.

Time already seemed to fly by before Melody. Once having her, I felt like I blinked and she was one. I know everyone says this, but I didn't realize what they meant until I had her. I think it becomes more noticeable because now you have a tiny human to compare time to. You can see how quickly time goes by when you see how quickly she grows. Time is truly a thief. In the beginning I remember thinking about how tired I was, and how I was ready for certain "milestones" to occur (aka, sleeping through the night). But then it happened. And the next milestone happened, and so on. I absolutely love the age Melody is right now, but I hate how fast the last 12 months went by to get us here.

Raising a child is hard.

Yea, we knew that going into having a baby, but boy is it challenging. I am always hoping I am making the right decisions for Melody. I am always worried about whether she is progressing the way she should be. I am always worried that since I am not putting her in daycare that she will be behind all of the kids who are in daycare. Is she getting too much TV time, is she getting enough play time with the *right* toys, and is she eating the right food? The list truly goes on and on. So many worries and concerns. Every decision you make could have a huge impact on your child.

My priorities completely changed.

My first thought is always Melody. I am truly last on my mind. In a way, I have rarely been "first" simply because I am a people pleaser. I have always been a people pleaser. Even today, I tend to make decision based around what other people want. I am getting better about this, especially when it involves Melody. An example of this would be trips. Sometimes family or friends may want us to take a trip, but it is not always in Melody's best interest for one reason or another. So I think I have gotten better about saying no. But even in everyday things Melody is always my priority. This can be something as simple as eating. My entire eating schedule has shifted to fit Melody's schedule. Melody always eats first even if my food is cold when it is my turn. These are simple priorities, but all things have changed to put her and our family first. She deserves to be the happiest that she can be if I can help it.